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If feeling fat, as 70 per cent of the respondents claimed, is a barrier to good sex, how come merrily obese young men and women pop into register offices or trot down the marriage aisle every day?In the throes of sexual passion, it's intimate caresses, delicious kisses and sweet talk, that make for sustained excitement. With all that in place, you no longer notice - or at least care - about the failings of the flesh (yours or his).By the time you're 45 you loathe your body (or his) so much that you can only bear to do it in the dark, if at all, and that you're quite likely to nod off before it's over, exhaustion getting the better of you.

I admit there's a slight Sex And The City vibe to our conversations that we tend not to indulge in when we're with our still-married friends, many of whom confess they have allowed sex to slip to the bottom of their to-do list.The problem is that you feel silly behaving like you used to once you've settled into a dull routine.It seems somehow unnatural - and perhaps not very grown-up.But even if we don't envy them their sex lives - and they're wistful about what they do have - we do have the wisdom to recognise that their enduring relationships are rather more precious than our last-flush sexual exploits.One of the best things about being an older woman of this generation is that we no longer have to be embarrassed about the fact that we are still fully functional sexual beings.

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